A decade of dedication – an embalmer’s experiences

A decade of dedication – an embalmer’s experiences By: Mervin Manaois | Date published: December 19, 2023

NOTE: The following article contains graphic details that may not be suitable for all readers. Viewer discretion is advised.

Federico “Kuya Roy” T. Caupe, 60, an embalmer at the Loyola Memorial and Chapel in Commonwealth Quezon City standing behind caskets for sale (Photo courtesy: Mervin John Manaois).

A man sat down to tell a story of how their profession brings peace to the departed and comfort to the grieving while navigating the realm where life and death intertwine.

60-year-old embalmer Federico “Kuya Roy” Caupe is one of the many caretakers of loved ones who passed away. A ten-year employee, he is currently working at Loyola Memorial and Chapels at Commonwealth, Quezon City. 

When he was a child, an embalmer accidentally killed his mother as the former mistaken the latter as dead. Occurred at the height of Martial Law in 1975, Kuya Roy’s mother was in a coma, and when they took her home, undertakers started to embalm her. Kuya Roy noticed her bubbling blood when transferred to a jug – meaning the subject was alive. The incident prompted Kuya Roy to promise he would be careful if he became an embalmer.

Upon entering the profession, Kuya Roy told how embalmers usually operate in the Philippines.

Funeral services begin with a walk-in by the office or a phone, wherein they refer to as the “second call.” The “second call” is where a family member inquires and calls the nearest funeral home that their loved one is ready for retrieval. Following this is the “first call,” where the morticians will retrieve the individual.

If a person dies in an incident, such as an accident, police shootout, or fire, the undertakers would go to the scene and claim the body to deliver at their funeral home for storing and identification. The only difference is if an individual passes away in their house or at a hospital, the morticians would directly take the deceased to their funeral home.

The family will physically visit the office to file the death certificate and let a family doctor sign it. Operation on the body would not start without a “go signal” from the family.

“Di namin gagalawin yung bangkay kapag walang consent,” said Kuya Roy.

(We will not operate on the body without consent).

After the family approves the deceased for embalming, Kuya Roy will go to his office beside the morgue.

The morgue is where he prepares the bodies for embalming.

He will then put on his Personal Protective Equipment to protect himself from the body and chemicals, especially the formaldehyde (or formalin) – the solution for preserving the body long enough for pleasant viewing.

Embalmers would occasionally massage the body to prevent rigor mortis – the stiffening of the muscles. They would flex the body’s fingers and bend the arms and legs. Following this, Kuya Roy would request the family for a photograph of the deceased as a point of reference to restore the features of the loved one’s face. Subsequently, he would place an eye cap over the eyelid to prevent it from opening. Finally, he ends up setting the face’s feature by sewing the mouth from the inside to make the person look as if they were sleeping.

Kuya Roy then uses a scalpel to cut the deceased’s side of the neck open to insert a device that would drain the blood, followed by inserting the formalin throughout the arteries.

Kuya Roy uses a trocar to demonstrate the removal of fluids from the body.

Kuya Roy would then use an aspirator and trocar to remove gas and extra fluids inside the body to insert formalin for preservation.

After inserting the chemicals, he will wash, moisturize, and dress the body based on the clothing given by the family. He added that they would finish the process by applying makeup to the loved one. They would then put the body into the casket chosen for viewing.

However, cases differ, as families may not allow morticians to embalm their loved ones. Some decide to cremate the body and insert the ashes into an urn for viewing. Others may choose a “natural burial,” wherein the funeral service would bury the departed under soil without caskets.

Cremation is the act of burning the body into ashes, typically after a funeral.

Aside from embalming, Kuya Roy said that he was to work as an embalmer only, but the management at Loyola Commonwealth made embalmers act as office personnel, salesman, and hearse driver (vehicle used to carry the casket).

“Working condition ay supposed to be I am an embalmer only. Pero ang management sa Loyola Commonwealth ay multi-tasking kami, ibig sabihin lahat ng trabho ay puwede kami related sa funeral,” said Kuya Roy.

(Working conditions: supposedly I am an embalmer only. However, the management at Loyola Commonwealth resulted in me multi-tasking, meaning we can do all funeral-related work).

In selling caskets, he said they do not take advantage of the grieving families because it is up to the latter as to what kind they would choose, wooden or metal.

“Nasa kanila iyon, nasa sa iyo iyon kung pipili ka ng mamahalin o mumurahin, walang take advantage. Huwag kayong magmayabang sa kaibigan ninyo, di kayo pulitiko,” expressed Kuya Roy.

(It is up to them, it is up to you whether or not you will buy something expensive or cheap, there is no taking advantage. Do not boast to your friends, you are not politicians).

Present dangers

Amid Kuya Roy’s usual routine and business in the funeral industry for ten years, nothing horrific occurred. He said that whatever happens in horror films featuring the morgue as a haunted environment shall remain fictional.

However, he shared one creepy experience from July 22, 2019. It was a dark and stormy night when Kuya Roy decided to sleep at his office beside the morgue with the lights closed.

Upon waking up at two in the morning, he saw a small and big light over the barrier separating his office from the morgue. As he investigated what it was, the lights were gone.

When Kuya Roy returned home, the same lights flickered and showed themselves to his wife.

But one scary everyday experience Kuya Roy will feel is the danger of formaldehyde because long exposure causes mild irritation.

“Kasi kapag matagal kang nagtatrabaho sa morgue, exposed ka sa formalin, matapang sa mata’t ilong,” said Kuya Roy.

(Because when you are working in the morgue for a long time, you are exposed to formalin, irritating your eyes and nose).

Seasonal working conditions

The lack of personnel proved to be a challenge for him. There were three embalmers before the pandemic struck – now, there are only two of them. He considered another obstacle being the slow working day, wherein they had no work to do.

Depending on the season, they receive few bodies. Kuya Roy said business is slow during the rainy season and active during summer. Sometimes they take care of five loved ones per day, and at times, none.

But one challenging operation he has to do as an embalmer is restoring the departed’s face, not merely through makeup. Kuya Roy sometimes receives bodies with disfigured facial features because of an accident or health condition (e.g., cancer). It is up to Kuya Roy to physically move the muscles and restore them to their original position.

If the body looked badly decomposed, he would recommend the family for direct cremation of their loved one. However, should the family be adamant about holding a wake, Kuya Roy would intensively prepare the body for pleasant viewing.

“Di lang kami nag eembalm, nagrerestore din kami,” said Kuya Roy.

(We do not only embalm, we also restore).

Triumphs over hardship

However, the challenges he experienced as an embalmer made him recall the hardships of his childhood starting from the 1960s.

When he was younger, he wanted to become an attorney or a priest at their local church in Negros. However, his father disapproved and suggested Kuya Roy to stay in their farm and look out for their livestock. His dad told him that farming does not require education and one can become independent, making their carabao an example.

“Yung kalabaw malaya nga, pero nakatali buong buhay niya, ayaw ko ng ganon,” Kuya Roy said.

(The cow is indeed free, but tied all his life, I do not want that).

He escaped from their house, bringing one or two pieces of clothing, and hopped on a bus taking a ferry to Sultan Kudarat in Mindanao. Upon his arrival there, the cold breeze and starry night were the first to greet him at the terminal, wherein he slept and hoped his God would guide him to a new beginning.

He started the new chapter when he awoke and left the bus terminal. Unaware of the purpose of “help wanted” posters, he looked for work. Stumbling from place to place, he landed a job at a local gasoline station looking for a “gasoline boy,” and Kuya Roy was thankful.

“Unang araw ng pagkagising ko may trabaho agad ako. Nagpapasalamat ako at di ako pinabayaan ng Panginoon,” he expressed.

(The first day I woke up, I had a job right away. I am grateful our Lord did not abandon me).

Kuya Roy earned enough money to enroll at a nearby school. His boss would take him there by vehicle every day. He was a working student throughout his academic career.

In elementary, Kuya Roy was a gasoline boy by day and a student by night. Reaching college, he was a security guard.

After graduating, he became a radio operator and worked for the Bureau of Customs.

But when things seemed going well, life can sometimes be unfair. With the rise of former President Ferdinand Marcos’ dictatorship and declaration of Martial Law, Kuya Roy became one of the many victims of the authoritarian’s regime.

“Napagkamalan ako ng militar ni Marcos, napagkamalan akong NPA (New People’s Army member). Kinulong ako sa Zamboanga,” said Kuya Roy. 

(Marcos' soldiers thought I was with the New People's Army, they detained me at Zamboanga).

A new chapter began when the EDSA People Power ousted President Marcos from his dictatorship. Kuya Roy started his journey when he went to Manila in 1986 and went off to Marikina. He then got a job at Pure Foods as a computer operator. Following the technological path proved difficult, so he decided to do the labor at Coca-Cola. 

Kuya Roy then became a stuntman in the entertainment industry, but when films lost popularity in Cory Aquino’s era, he went abroad.

“Nag stuntman na, pelikula naman trabaho, noong humina yung pelikula 1986 kasi may mga Sky Cable na, mahina na yung shooting, ako naman nag abroad,” he said.

(I was a stuntman, I worked in movies, and when the movie industry declined in 1986 because of Sky Cables, I went abroad).

The 1900s for Kuya Roy were strenuous, but things in his life started to come together in the 2000s’ arrival. He went to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, to work at a department store to provide money for his wife, who was a working student and soon became a principal in the Philippines. Unfortunately, they separated, and Kuya Roy married another woman.

When he returned to the Philippines, he entered and worked for Philippine Airlines as a Pilot Mechanic. During his stay, he saw well-known media personality Jessica Soho’s advertisement about embalmers on the airport television. The ad was one of the events, aside from his childhood experience with his mother, that gave life to Kuya Roy’s interest in the grim profession. He saw that the job paid well and left his work at Philippine Airlines to start training as an embalmer at the Philippine Embalmers and Undertakers Review and Training Center (PEURTC) in Makati.

The PEURTC has a four-month training that teaches applicants anatomy, physiology, ethics and jurisprudence, good manners, and conduct. Examinations will be held in March and September.

“Theoretical ka muna then practical. Kung hindi ka pumasa, ulitin mo for the license,” said Kuya Roy.

(You will learn theoretical lessons first then practical exercises. If you do not pass, you will repeat until you pass and receive your license).

Kuya Roy thanked God for the guidance because he passed the examination with one attempt.

Aside from the hardship Kuya Roy experienced during his childhood, he was grateful for his God’s guidance to deliver him to where he is now – the individual who takes care of the loved ones who passed away. Embalming is the last profession Kuya Roy will ever be in. Despite the deathly atmosphere that surrounds him, it makes him happy and alive.

“Magawan mo paraan yung bangkay, mapapasaya mo pamilya. Ikaw din, matuwa kang makita mo pinaghirapan mo para sa pamilya [ng namayapa],” he said.

(If you restore and treat the deceased respectfully, you will make the family happy. You will also be proud to see you worked hard for the family [of the deceased]).